In many Buddhist traditions, there is a type of meditation called loving-kindness, which involves wishing happiness and peace for not only yourself but also your loved ones as well as those you find difficult. In the spirit of this practice, I will create a loving-kindness meditation specially tailored for the presidential election and everyone it’s affected. This should be fun.
First, may I have the restraint and not insult Donald Trump and call him names such as an Oompa Loompa with a suit on and/or a Jack-o-Lantern that had botched surgery and then was jizzed in. Starting now though. That didn’t count before.
May I have the courage to fight for others whose lives and identities are at stake in ways that mine are not. And may I take that courage further than liking a few #NoDAPL statuses on Facebook and then promptly returning to taking a BuzzFeed quiz titled, “We know which former US president you want to have sex with based on your favorite Thanksgiving side dish.”
May I speak out against people’s racism, especially old white men’s, instead of making that weird noise that’s halfway between a cough and an awkward laugh, and going, “Well, they’re just the product of their times,” especially since I grew up in the era of Jersey Shore and managed not to become a guido. If I can do it, they can too.
May Trump develop compassion for those who look differently and love differently than him. That would include Muslims, Mexicans, people from LGBTQ+ communities, blacks, Native Americans, people whose skin tones are lighter than those safety cones students use to learn driving with, those who don’t actively yearn to have sex with their own daughters, and anyone who has gotten married fewer than three times.
For Trump voters:
May people who voted for Trump know that many of their troubles are valid and that economic difficulties are not a laughing matter.
But also, may they know that other people’s suffering are similarly valid, and that by supporting Trump even if they didn’t agree with some of his ideas, they are still to blame if he ends up actually enacting them.
May people of color be unafraid and learn how to work with whites to create a better America, because it’s not like we haven’t done enough to improve this country under the threat of discrimination and for some, death, while mayonnaise-lovers did the bare minimum like acknowledging we were human and wearing safety pins on their sweatshop-produced Forever 21 jackets.
May LGBTQ+ people finally realize that cis-gendered folks want to cooperate and achieve landmark accomplishments like adding rainbow filters to their Facebook profiles and attending Pride parades.
It’s time to pull your weight, disenfranchised communities!
Finally, may the rest of the world … just like, turn the other cheek, please? This is extremely embarrassing for us. If you do us this solid, we’ll pretend Brexit wasn’t a thing and Marine Le Pen is just a new Chanel perfume. Alright, cool.